How to study?

I know other mom's have done it. Complete their Master's degree while raising 2+ children...alone and while working full time. I'm lucky. I have a supportive husband who is very encouraging. My intent this Sunday was to spend the day absorbing the meaning of disaccharides, triglycerides, diabetes I & II and other such facts. Instead, I cleaned our office space. Bob took our son to the park while I was supposed to be studying. My daughter was over at her friend's house baking apple spice cake for her cooking class.

As soon as I was alone I blasted Billy Idol's Greatest Hits and started dusting and organizing CD's and sheet music. What mom doesn't cherish ALONE TIME! I couldn't stop. I started doing laundy, moving furniture around in the living room and watered every plant in the house, which is a lot. Finally, after 3 hours everyone was home, except for Bob who had a gig tonight, did I get back to my studies.

Every 10 minutes my son asked me a question, "Mom, is tomorrow a school day? Mom? Watch this. Mom!! Look at this! Mooooommmmmmmm!!"

Finally I cracked and told him that Mommy needed to study so she could make more money so we could buy a house (ha, ha, ha, like THAT will happen in San Francisco) and go to Disneyland!! Now PLEASE let me study!"

Five minutes later..."Mom? Are we going to Disneyland tomorrow?"
AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

All during this time my daughter was locked in her bedroom giving me the silent treatment because she, notice I said "she" couldn't find her homework that she had left on her desk this morning. She was upset because I told her she needed to be more responsible, she's in 7th grade for chrissakes! I am turning into my mother.

My mother was able to obtain two Master's degrees at Columbia University while raising me by herself in New York City. If she can do it, I can do it. Back to the books!

First Entry

"STOP YOU GUYS!!" This I just yelled at my children, ages 4.5 (boy) and 12.5 (girl). Chinese food just arrived and they are screaming accusing eachother of throwing some sort of metal ball. One wants to watch MTV, the other wants to watch Cartoon Network with some sort of weird animal like creatures on it. My husband is in the kitchen tampering with a broken camera, no I hear a drawer open. Perhaps, just perhaps he will pile heaping spoonfulls of chicken fried rice for the kids onto some plates. Alas, that is just what he is doing. However, nagging ensues.

I have another vaginal yeast infection.

I cannot even tell you the last time my husband and I had sex. It might have been in May or June. I don't know. I am wondering if this should bother me. On the one hand, I am a 37-year-old attractive woman with needs. On the other hand, I'm so damn tired most of the time. I find myself alone in bed with my battery operated boyfriend. The kids are asleep and my husband is either not at home (works evenings and nights much of the time) or he has just arrived home relaxing at the computer with his favorite hobby...E-Bay. Don't even ask. Okay, you asked... he repairs old broken things that people sell on E-Bay, fixes them then he sells them.

So, no sex. At least with a man I've been with for 16 years. I am envious of other married couples who get some action at least once a week. I am envious of couples who get once a month action. Our roles are reversed. My man has no sex drive. Never has. I can't even explain how hard that was when we were trying to get pregnant.

My kids are great. Daughter goes to a private school where most, I said most of the moms seem to be SF society or married to some guy who makes tons of $$$. I am not your typical private school mom. I have a full time job. I work my ass off at my job. I barely have time to volunteer at either of my kids schools, but I do. I HAVE to work in order for us to live in this city. I HAVE to work because Bob 's job does not have medical insurance. I have tattoo's, one huge one on my back and one on my leg. I believe that pot should be legal. I believe in same sex marriage. I think Johnny Mosely should be able to pile tons of snow in Pacific Heights and ski down the hill. I feel set apart by most of the parents at her school. I am always drawn towards the parents with pink hair, piercings, gay, lesbian, etc.

I was thrilled when my son got into public school. There the parents seems more "real"...meaning they all probably rent their places and don't have their own private airplane to take them to Palm Springs. I am torn though. LOVE his public school, but will he get a better education at private? He is a little young for kindergarden, but we put him in there anyway. Could not longer afford the $1,000 a month for preschool. Well, we could, but last year was very rough financially. We barely made it. Next fall he will be ready to try for private school. We'll see how it goes.

The kids are arguing again. Son won't stop singing, daughter trying to watch MTV. I am PMSing big time. Nerves a bit racked. Sometimes I wish I had my own place. My own space.